Saturday, April 20, 2013

Funny (and Generally Tasteless) Baseball Names

A couple of years ago, I was going through my baseball databases and was interested in some of the names that I saw--some were funny, some odd, and many were just humorous at the 4th Grade level. For those that love a good humorous name, this list is for you. It's separated into two categories--the non-Richard category and the (poor) Richards. All links go to their page if you want more information on them. The non-Richards come first:
Alamazoo Jennings—played 1 game in 1878, was neither from Kalamazoo nor played anywhere near it
Alex Mustaikis—can I get a “By cracky”?
Anderson Hernandez –the old double last name treatment
Antonio Bastardo –and Jimmy Piersall would say he’s consistently a…
Astyanax Douglass –played in the 20s, have no clue what that first name is
Austin Knickerbocker –no, he wasn’t a Knick, but briefly a Philadelphia Athletic in 1947
Bake McBride –just because it’s a great name
Beauty McGowan—not an ugly man, but it’s still no name for a man
Bill Knickerbocker –also not a Knick, because he played in the 30s, before the Knicks were formed
Bill Mountjoy –I’d have to get a look at her first…
Bill Peterman –gets me thinking of Diedrich Bader yelling “Hey Peterman” in “Office Space”—also had one AB in majors
Boileryard Clarke –just because
Bots Nekola –I think Rick Telander wrote about him once
Brickyard Kennedy—the location and how to get there in one name
Bris Lord—an alternate term for “mohel”
Burleigh Grimes –just for Terry Boers, 670 The Score afternoon host
Casper Asbjornson –just a fun name to say
Charlie Furbush—can I get a…
Cleatus Davidson –he played in 1999
Cookie Cuccurullo –not sure on the pronunciation, but it could be very alliterative
Count Sensenderfer –Sensenderfer sounds like a fun name to pronounce
Creepy Crespi –after retiring, became a Canadian junior hockey coach
Cub Stricker –this year, it’s more like Cub StrickeN
Dave DeBusschere –had a brief baseball career—can I get a…
Davey Crockett –shot him a bar when he was only three…
Drungo Hazewood –just because
Fred Woodcock—not to brag, but…
Gene Woodburn—OUCH!
Harry Chappas—I’m torn as to his popularity at TB Diddler’s
Heinie Meine –one can only hope the last name has two syllables
Ken Szotkiewicz –spelled just like it sounds
Kila Ka'aihue –I’ve never had the slightest idea how to pronounce this--I think it's "not-in-the-majors-now"
Lil Stoner –does Steve Stone have any kids?
Mark Woodyard—now that’s just bragging…
Mel Held –probably would have been a poor offensive lineman
Merlin Nippert –played in 1962, so no old-timer excuse
Mickey Klutts –always one of my favorites
Miller Huggins –also for Terry Boers
Moonlight Graham –not just a figment of W.P. Kinsella’s imagination, this guy, played by Burt Lancaster in “Field of Dreams,” was real and he really was in one game and never got up to bat
Nick Strincevich –sounds like a great name for a Chicago cop
Nino Bongiovanni –his name is longer than his career
Oil Can Boyd –I don’t believe I’ve ever heard the story behind his name
Pat Listach –can I get a…
Pepper Peploski –don’t stand next to a spitter if they pronounce this one
Pickles Dillhoefer –cue the clown sound drop
Pinky Woods –hey now!
Quinton McCracken –can I get a…
Red Woodhead—somehow, that’s too much information
So Taguchi –just because he’s…
Socks Seibold and Socks Seybold –these are two completely different and unrelated players
Twink Twining –say that one fast
Verle Tiefenthaler –another name longer than his career—3 games, 3.2 innings for the 62 White Sox
Woodie Held—thank you!

Now, the Richard category:

Dick Bayless—that’s no way to talk about Skip
Dick Brown—that’s getting a little personal
Dick Cox –redundant
Dick Green –get to the doctor, stat!
Dick Hall –isn’t that the auditorium at T.B. Diddler’s?
Dick Groat –Duke grad, right?
Dick Hunt –probably best not to read this one on-air, or from his brother Mike
Dick Pole –was anyone ever pulling for his staff?
Dick Such –I would KILL to know how that last name is pronounced
Dick Wantz --…what the dick wants…
Les Cox—OUCH!
Terry Cox

 Crass, childish and not worthy of the bandwidth on which it's stored. You're welcome.


  1. You missed Rusty Kuntz and Johnny Dickshot.